GREAT PHRASES FOR BUTTONS Sometime back a friend of mine sent me a list of phrases that he said would make great buttons. I have no idea where he got these choice sayings, but I had to agree that they really would make great buttons. That started me thinking (oh, no there he goes again)...why not add a page to this site that would share great phrases for making buttons? After all, when I first started making buttons, one of the ways I regularly made money was to make buttons that had phrases such as these on them. So here they are. I hope that all you creative geniuses and any of you out there who have heard a good phrase that would make a great button, will send me your ideas to include on this page. Since helping each other out is what this site is all about, why not "give... and receive."   Only the mediocre are always at their best! I wish I didn't know now what I didn't know then. God doesn't think He's a lawyer. I'm not bald. THis is just a solar panel for my sex machine. I love animals...I'm married Doing housework while your children are growing is like shoveling your driveway while it's still snowing. If we can send a man to the moon- why can we send them all. What happens if you get scared to death twice? 2 B C 2 P I'm not bald. I'm just taller than my hair. If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn. Never kick a fresh patty (cow) on a hot day. Dirty old men need loving, too. Dogs are just kids with fur! Messy houses are happy houses. Mine is delirious! Ring bell for maid service...If no one answers, do it yourself. All doctors believe in shock treatments..Only they call them medical bills! May love be the heart of our home. The only self-cleaning thing in this house is the cat. Gardeners know all the best dirt. One who plants a garden plants happiness. Smile! It's easy. Nursing is the gentle art of caring. Me and You, You and Me. That's the way We'll always be. The best antiques are old friends. There are two things you give your children:One is roots,the other is wings. I may not be rich, but my grandchildren are jewels. Dust is a country accent. Golfing is "fore" me. It's working that "tees" me off. Golfers should wear two pairs of pants in case they get a hole in one. My dog (cat) knows all about me and loves me anyway. Warning! Fishing is catching. Good things come to those who bait. I communicate with fish by dropping them a line. How lucky that we both should meet and make each others life complete. Wherever you go, whatever you do, May your Guardian Angel keep watch over you. To love and be loved is everything. A beautician's daily routine is cut and dry. Warning! Fabriholic in residence. An old fisherman lives here with the catch of his life. Bed and Breakfast: Two things kids never make. There would be fewer spoiled kids if you could spank Grandma (Grandpa). Men (People) are like fish...They get in trouble when they open their mouths. Dear Lord, If you won't make me skinny, please make my friends fat. Don't rush me! I'm waiting 'till the last minute. GRANDPA...so simple even a child can operate. When I die, bury me at the mall...My wife will visit me often. (bury me in the woods. My husband will hunt for me.) If you must write in the dust, please don't date it. When Mom says no call 1-800-GRANDMA God's in charge of flowers and seeds...I'm in charge of all the weeds. Who needs Santa? I've got Grandma (GRANDPA). My favorite recipe: Eat Out! If you sprinkle when you tinkle, Be a sweetie and wipe the seatie. So this isn't home sweet home. Adjust. The thing about doing nothing is...You never know when you're all done A house is not a home without a dog (cat) Teachers who love teaching teach children to love learning. Touch my scissors and you die! Notice: Due to illness, this kitchen is closed. I'm sick of cooking. Together is a wnderful place to be. Dinner is ready when the smoke alarm goes off. I'm entering the metallic years: Silver in my hair, gold in my teeth and lead in my bottom. A friend is one who knows everything about you and loves you just the same. I love to give homemade gifts. Which kid do you want? A house is made of wood and stone, but only love can make it home. Free hugs given here. Friendships are sewn one stitch at a time. The only thing I grow in my garden is tired. Veni, Vidi, Visa I came, I saw, I charged! Teaching is a work of heart. Gardening: Just another day at the plant. Spring brings out the gardening in me, plus pesky weeds, wasps, hornets, and bumblebees. Never too old for love and a hug. Cultivate and nurture good habits...bad ones grow wild. Some folks have a spark of genius....other folks have ignition trouble. I'm just as lucky as I can be, because the world's best teacher is teaching me. Warning: Menopause Maniac If there are no crafts in Heaven I'm not going. Cherish yesterday, Dream tomorrow, Live today. I'm only working 'til I hit the lottery. Friends are God's way of taking really good care of us. Organized people are just too lazy to hunt for it. Busy hands have happy hearts. Life is uncertain. Eat dessert first. Girls just wanna have funds. Every time we make ends meet someone moves the ends. Hand over the chocolate and no one gets hurt. Welcome to my laundry room featuring all the latest dirt. Happiness is being married to your best friend. Just when a mother thinks her work is done she becomes a grandmother. Help Wanted: Everyone in this house qualifies. God couldn't be everywhere so he made Grandmas. A hug a day keeps the grumpys away. This Grandma is an automatic spoiling machine. A day hemmed with prayer is less likely to unravel. What's stitched with love will never tear. Age is a matter of mind...If you don't mind, it doesn't matter The difference between inlaws and outlaws: outlaws are wanted When sweetness fails and tears don't work: nag. We interrupt this marriage to bring you the football season. I keep trying to lose weight but it keeps finding me. My secret fantasy is having two men: one cooking, the other cleaning. Grandma is my name, spoiling is my game. When you need a hug call 1-800-Grandpa. Our home is filled with cats (dogs) and love. I'm a beautician, not a magician. I aim to keep this bathroom clean. Your aim will help. If friends (mothers, sisters, brothers, fathers, teachers,etc) were chickens, I'd peck you. I work for chicken feed. ( Picture of chicken and corn kernels) I'm not having hot flashes. I'm having power surges. Instant human, just add coffee. Young at heart, slightly older in other places. Home is where we keep our stuff. I promise to be brave. I won't faint at the sight of blood or stitches. I won't scream at the doctor, because I am the nurse. Teachers are so special for all they do, Helping make me ready for the future bright and new. Ever notice how all our problems begin with MEN? Uncontrolled children will be sold as slaves. With every little baby's birth God sends His love and joy to earth. Grandmas ( Grandpas) are made for lovin'. Have fun. Be nuts. What did sanity ever do for you? I started out with nothing and I still have most of it. When did my wild oats turn to prunes and all bran? I finally got my head together and now my body is falling apart. Funny, I don't remember being absent minded. If all is not lost, where is it? It is easier to get older than to get wiser. If at first you DO succeed, try not to look too astonished. The first rule of holes: If you are in one, stop digging. It was all so different before everything changed. Some days you're the dog and some days you're the hydrant. Nostalgia isn't what it used to be. A day without sunshine is like a day in Seattle.   I wish the buck did stop here. I could use a few. Kids in the back seat cause accidents. Accidents in the back seat causes kids. The only time the world beats a path to your door is when you are in them bathroom. If God wanted me to touch my toes, He would have put them on my knees. An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys. It's not hard to meet expenses.... They're everywhere. If we are put here to look after others, what are they forGrowing old is mandatory; growing up is optional. Insanity is my only means of relaxation. My mind not only wanders, sometimes it leaves completely. Everytime I think about exercise, I lie down til the thought goes away. God put me on earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now I am so far behind, I will live forever. I finally got my head together, and my body fell apart. There cannot be a crisis this week; my schedule is already full. The nice part of living in a small town is that when I don't know what I'm doing, someone else does. The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat are really good friends. Sometimes I think I understand everything, then I regain consciousness. Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of it. Friends don't let drunk friends karaoke! I can only please one person a day. Today's not your day and tomorrow's not looking good either. Tell me what you need and I'll tell you how to get along with out it. Some day's your the pigeon, some days the statue. I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem. Everybody is somebody's weirdo. This day was a total waste of makeup. An erection doesn't count as personal growth. Don't bother me, I'm living happily ever after. Do I look like a people person? This isn't an office, it's Hell with fluorescent lighting. I began with nothing and still have most of it left. I pretend to work, they pretend to pay me. You! Off my planet! Therapy is expensive, poppin' bubble wrap is cheap! You choose. Practice random acts of intelligence and senseless acts of self-control.Kids in the back seat cause accidents. Accidents in the back seat causes kids. The only time the world beats a path to your door is when you are in them bathroom. If God wanted me to touch my toes, He would have put them on my knees. An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys. It's not hard to meet expenses.... They're everywhere. If we are put here to look after others, what are they forGrowing old is mandatory; growing up is optional. Insanity is my only means of relaxation. My mind not only wanders, sometimes it leaves completely. Everytime I think about exercise, I lie down til the thought goes away. God put me on earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now I am so far behind, I will live forever. I finally got my head together, and my body fell apart. There cannot be a crisis this week; my schedule is already full. The nice part of living in a small town is that when I don't know what I'm doing, someone else does. The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat are really good friends. Sometimes I think I understand everything, then I regain consciousness. Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of it. Friends don't let drunk friends karaoke! I can only please one person a day. Today's not your day and tomorrow's not looking good either. Tell me what you need and I'll tell you how to get along with out it. Some day's your the pigeon, some days the statue. I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem. Everybody is somebody's weirdo. This day was a total waste of makeup. An erection doesn't count as personal growth. Don't bother me, I'm living happily ever after. Do I look like a people person? This isn't an office, it's Hell with fluorescent lighting. I began with nothing and still have most of it left. I pretend to work, they pretend to pay me. You! Off my planet! Therapy is expensive, poppin' bubble wrap is cheap! You choose. Practice random acts of intelligence and senseless acts of self-control. Bottomless pit of needs and wants. I like pets, too. Let's exchange recipes. Friendly checkout clerk. Thanks for keeping me that way! Does your train of thought have a caboose? Did the aliens forget to remove your anal probe? Errors have been made. Others will be blamed. Let me show you how the guards used to do it. How may I screw you over today? And your crybaby whiny-assed opinion would be? Can I set a laser printer to stun? I majored in liberal arts. Will that be for here or to go? I refuse to star in your psychodrama. I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks. My kid beat up your honor student. If at first you do succeed, try not to look astonished. Help wanted: Telepath ... you know where to apply. Happiness is a belt-fed weapon. Cats... the other white meat. Wink, I'll do the rest!I took an IQ test - the results were negative. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again? I killed a 6-pack just to watch it die. My kid had sex with your honor student. My supervisor is dumber that your supervisor! Allow me to introduce my selves. Sarcasm is just one more service I perform. Whisper my favorite words: "I'll buy it for you." Do they ever shut up on your planet? I'm just working here 'till a good fast-food job opens up. I'm not your type. I'm not inflatable. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality. A cubicle is a padded cell without a door. Stress is waking up screaming and realizing you haven't fallen asleep yet. Here I am! What are your other two wishes? Back off! You're standing in my aura. Don't worry. I forgot your name, too! One of us is thinking about sex...OK, it's me. I just want revenge. Is that so wrong? I work 40 hours a week to be this poor. You say I'm a bitch like it's a bad thing. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it? Chaos, panic, and disorder -- my work here is done. Ambivalent? Well, yes and no. Earth is full. Go home. There's too much blood in my alcohol system. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke. WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me. BEER: It's not just for breakfast anymore. I got a gun for my wife, best trade I ever made. So you're a feminist...Isn't that cute! I need someone really bad... are you really bad? Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. Call us toll-free at: (800) 243-8293 or (623) 869-8233 The mailing address for Dr. Don's Buttons is: 3906 W. Morrow Drive, Glendale, Arizona 85308   All rights reserved ©2007